Chika is one of hip-hop’s brightest young stars, so it was unfortunate to hear a week ago that she had decided to retire from music due to the “mental toll” the industry has taken on her. The good news, though, is that she has now reversed that decision and no longer plans to retire. This news comes after an especially difficult time for Chika, though, as she also revealed that she recently tried to end her own life.
She wrote on Twitter last night, “I am alive. I am okay. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check in. It’s been a very intense week. I’m not retiring. After what I’ve endured in the past few days, I’m not ever allowing anything to stop me or almost take me from this ghetto ass earth.” She also had a message for Cardi B: “Thank you, @iamcardib for reaching out & showing such kindness to me in a time I don’t even think you knew was as serious as it was. You’ve always shown love to me & don’t think I could take that for granted. You’re appreciated.”
Chika continued, “I will be stepping back from social media for the time being, whether that means silence or just having someone else post for me. I’m too valuable to be tampered with. And it took almost not being here to realize this internet sh*t isn’t worth it.” She also shared a photo of her hand sticking out its middle finger and wrote, “And to those who thought you won in destroying me… In case YOU needed the reminder. Bloop. Toodles.”
Those messages were preceded by a new minute-long track from Chika, which she titled “You Thought” and in which she addresses the retirement situation.
A couple hours later, she followed up with a lengthy post, in which she said that a recent post in which she declared she was “out” was actually about taking her own life, and that she did try to kill herself:
“i know i’ve spoken my peace, but i feel the need to clarify some things. i’m not reading comments/ replies/DMs, but some texts i’m getting are making me feel the need to be fully transparent.
last week was not simply a result of online bullying. i have been working through a rough patch in life that trolls did not cause. however, in one of my most vulnerable moments, i was submerged in messages encouraging me to take my life. i fought back and wished the same fate on those sending hate.
i made a video, clearly breaking down while trying to communicate that i was being pushed to a point where this was making my own internal battle worse, and the last tweet i remember seeing was someone excited at the possibility that i might hurt myself.
the note screenshot was not about quitting, it was about ending my life. because that day, i tried. i dunno who called who, but paramedics broke my door down to save my life. thank you to whomever was looking out for me that night.
i was not okay.
social media did not cause what happened, however it definitely was the straw that broke the camel’s back that evening. i barely remember anything. i could tell you what the next 3 days felt like — but it’s too much to get into. i’m saying all of this to say: we need listen more when people say they are not okay. we need to be mindful with our words. we need to treat each other like humans. petty arguments are a part of internet culture, but being pushed to a point that caused me to go through the most traumatic week of my life is something that didn’t and *doesn’t* need to happen. to anyone.
this break i’m taking has less to do with stans, harassment, and online sh*t. it’s a chance for me to process all of this and protect the joy i have left. i am fine and will be fine, i promise you.
i’m just bout to go be human for a little bit.
take care of yourselves and the people you love. we’re all we got.”
Find Chika’s tweets below.
Even I had needed the reminder:
You can’t kill a bad bitch. pic.twitter.com/7nWeM3ksYl
— CHIKA
(@oranicuhh) April 19, 2021
I am alive. I am okay.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check in. It’s been a very intense week.
I’m not retiring. After what I’ve endured in the past few days, I’m not ever allowing anything to stop me or almost take me from this ghetto ass earth.
— CHIKA
Thank you, @iamcardib for reaching out & showing such kindness to me in a time I don’t even think you knew was as serious as it was. You’ve always shown love to me & don’t think I could take that for granted.
You’re appreciated.
— CHIKA
I will be stepping back from social media for the time being, whether that means silence or just having someone else post for me.
I’m too valuable to be tampered with. And it took almost not being here to realize this internet shit isn’t worth it.
— CHIKA
And to those who thought you won in destroying me… In case YOU needed the reminder.
Bloop.
Toodles.
pic.twitter.com/VuD4UI7zCb
— CHIKA
Til next time.
s/o to Hov, Hype Williams, and Monogram. pic.twitter.com/ZxTUGVEL6e
— CHIKA
— CHIKA
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
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